I saw a new baby, a very new newborn baby, in the grocery store the other day. Only two eyes, squeezed tightly shut, and a little nub of a nose were visible, but they were magnetizing. A little red, a little wrinkled, a little dry and shrivelly. I looked back at my own baby, sitting in my shopping cart, who at just 4 months old suddenly looked enormous. Fully plumped out with big cheeks and soft “please squeeze me” skin. Big blue eyes opened wide, lined with long lush lashes and soaking in everything. She smiled at me when we made eye contact, and made a happy little gurgle.
It was right then that it hit me: the early days were over.
The phrase “early days” is something I first heard from my sister, who heard it from some other women, when she was the mom out and about with her brand new human being.
Oh, the early days.
How we dread them and cherish them. It’s a time of extremes and contradictions. Overwhelming love, so much stress. Powering through until it’s over, but wanting it to last forever.
But, since this is my last baby, I’m done with that now. I’m through it. I have a squishy, full-sized baby and a toddler that looks positively grown up sometimes. Somewhere recently I passed out of that fleeting newborn phase for the last time. And I didn’t see exactly when it happened.
But that’s okay. Esme has been such an easy baby I’m not surprised we floated so smoothly forward (and it’s not like there’s a shortage of new experiences to look forward to!). But newborn-ness is such a unique time, I feel compelled to hold on to the memories much like I did with pregnancy. To officially say goodbye to those foggy, exhausting, magical blips of time when my children were still brand, brand new in the world.
♥
Hello Sweetpea.
Small and sweet and scary.
Delicate as glass.
Little fingers, cotton mitts.
Blue blanket, pink blanket. Fuzzy hats.
Tiny wrinkled fists, lint between the fingers.
Swaddles. Baby socks. Bassinet by the bedside.
So. Much. Poo!
Small, scratchy cries.
Skinny arms, springing up into long, over-sized stretches.
Rocking, bouncing, singing.
Singing, rocking, bouncing.
Middle of the night breathing checks, by the light of a cell phone (and a street light).
Overwhelming love. Tears.
Little jelly bean.
Changing the world.
All life is amazing but rarely is it in so sharp a focus as when you’re in the presence of a newborn baby. So fresh off the miracle you can smell it.
Just found out (surprise!) I’m pregnant with my 4th and final. This was just what I needed :)
Congratulations!!!
This is beautiful. I look at my toddler and try to remember those early days. We are hoping to expand our family which gives me hope for experiencing those days all over again.
Cherish them for sure!
Isn’t it crazy how FAST the early days go?! With my first it felt like the early days went on forever but then with my second – I’m still not sure how he’s already a year. Newborns are so precious and special!
It was the same for me! The first felt like an eternity, and now for #2 it’s all just flying by.
We ended at 3 kids and my baby is 1 yr old. Time flies enjoy every bit.
I enjoyed the early days, but I have to admit, it’s really nice to have kids who can supervise themselves now. I definitely don’t miss car seats and diapers. It’s amazing how you hardly even notice your kids are growing up, and then one day you’re sitting at the pool and realize you were able to read an entire page without having to make sure no one’s drowning, and then you think, “Wow. This is kind of nice. My kids can do stuff without my eye on them constantly.”
It’s crazy how fast those early days go by even though they feel endless sometimes.
It’s been a while since our youngest was a baby but I still remember holding her and thinking that she was the last child I would ever breastfeed. So much else from that hectic time is a blur now. But even now that she is a teenager, that one thought is forever etched in my brain.
Aw, that’s my baby now! Thanks for the thought. :)
My husband and I often talk about how we don’t want another baby right now, but would like our toddler to just be one day old again for a few hours of cuddles. The newborn phase is magical!
Those early days go by so fast! My last is 3 months old and I’m being intentional with cherishing every moment. Great post!
I always say i could skip the newborn and go straight for the 5 month old. My husband does not agree. He loves a baby! My 3rd is 10 months and i have been so sad about him turning 1. We will probably add 1-2 more kids to our family (that’s the plan at least) but we are raising these 3 under 4 a little first. Normally I’m pregnant again by now. And while I’m thrilled to NOT be pregnant right now- I’m sad not to be having a number 4 so close in age to my current 3. It drives me crazy but i love how close they all are.
This is all so true that made me happy/sad tear up a little sitting here with my 8 month old “last baby” and 4 year old. Very well said!!
This is so true. The early days are tough but so bittersweet when you know those days are over.
awww this is so cute, I have an 11 months old who is already walking and very mobile, not cuddly at all lol but I am thinking about number two so I still have a few of early days to come.
Well written and your poem makes me miss these beginning days that go so, so fast. And as you mentioned, I look forward to them and don’t miss them all at the same time. Thank you for sharing your thoughtful words!
I’m coming through the other side of motherhood now. My oldest is about to graduate in a couple of weeks with honors and go off to college. My youngest is in 5th grade and he’s becoming more and more independent. All stages are wonderful, but sometimes I think we lose a lot of savoring the baby stage because it can be so hard (my youngest didn’t sleep through the night until he was 3 YEARS old lol) It’s great that you record the sweet moments, because in a blink of an eye they pass by and looking back is a warm feeling.
Very sweet, mine are 10 and 12….far away from that baby stage!!